Not that I feel completely arrived now either, I just think I've had enough time to catch up on sleep, take-in my reunion with the Casa program and all its life-altering energy, and reflect a little bit on my hopes and fears heading into my work in Suchi. I think the main thought I observed on my mind earlier today centered on the conflict between taking care of myself and being available to others. One of the practices that the Casa nurtures is a self-awareness that makes room for one to take time to recharge, to "go to the places one needs to go" to feel alive. For me, that will mean lots of hiking and exploring in the mountains around Suchitoto, as well as taking time to blog, meditate, stretch, and just hang out with friends. However, I am also aware of my desire to be present to the community in Suchitoto, both my volunteer community and the village as a whole, and so it will be important for me to seek a balance between these two. And I guess that's where the practical "what am I doing here in El Salvador" question intersects with the deeper "what am I doing here on earth" question, and while I do not have an answer, my experience tells me that I am here to feel alive and to share the love and flourishing that comes from opening oneself up to life. There are many reflections on the impact that living with the poor of our world can have on one's sense of purpose in life, and I think many include or lead to a similar conclusion: the world is full of suffering, so let's find a way to live together and share our experiences both of pain and, perhaps more importantly, liberation.
I am hesitant to go on because I think I am sputtering somewhat, struggling to give voice to feelings and thoughts that are as yet quite undeveloped. I know that I am in love on many levels and that feels great. Yet there are no conclusions in my mind, only open-ended signposts represented by such statements as "living together and sharing our struggle for peace". This is not a fact of human nature, at least as far as I know, but a decision of some kind. I believe it emanates from the deepest place in me, and so I revere it and think it holy. Yet I do not know any morning when I wake up what it would mean to work for peace in the world. And many mornings I do not even think about it. Yet the desire to love and to see others loved guides all of my actions and is the motivation and as-yet highly undetermined force I hope to follow and learn from in my time in El Salvador and beyond.
Thank you for reading that bit of reflection if you took the time to do so. Feel free to comment or ask questions to help us understand better what I'm getting at.
So one great experience I have had over the last couple days was a visit to Reina's house. Reina is a becaria (scholarship) student in the Romero program which functions parallel to the Casa de la solidaridad. She lives in Alicia's house, so the entirety of "Casa Silvia" went on the trip out to Cojutapeque (coe-who-ta-pe-kay) to get to know Reina a little better. She actually lives out there quite a bit these days since her mother is sick and the only other people in the house are Reina's father who works on the family's farm many days out of the week, and Reina's eleven-year-old nephew Eduardo.
Well Reina's family is just wonderful. Maria Victoria (Reina's mother) welcomed us into her humble home up a steep concrete road in the foothills of Cerro de Pavas, and we all sat in the family room and introduced ourselves. I quickly befriended young Eduardo who surprised me with his willingness to talk and engage. Actually a lot about Eduardo surprised me. Many Salvadorans, especially younger kids, seem either intimidated or not interested in interacting with gringos, but this kid had a Salvadoran culture and geography book out, and his little mind spouting out facts and interesting events in Salvadoran society within minutes of meeting him.
The most amazing thing about Eduardo that I learned over the course of the day is how incredibly mature and aware he is (again, not characteristics I'm used to associating with Salvadoran youth, or any youth for that matter). Eduardo communicated clearly and confidently, and actually I don't think I could find a better person to guide someone through a milpa, a farm. Eduardo not only knew which plants were which, and which birds did what, but he also knew about different types and names, stories behind their origins, the seasons in which foods are harvested and flowers bloom. It was truly amazing.
One really cool thing Eduardo told Heidi, Parker and I when we were in his family's garden is that El Salvador's national plant, Izote, represents "la unidad familiar". He explained this by saying that whereas one might view the household as supported by the work of either solely the man or solely the woman, in El Salvador family unity is achieved through cooperation of both parties in a process of support and mutual care. Not only did Eduardo present a beautiful sentiment and a previously unknown fact to us, but he did so in such a thoughtful and professional manner that I really didn't know what to make of him.
His lessons continued as Maria Victoria told us the tragic story of their pet "mapache", which died not too long ago. From our quizzical glances to one another Eduardo sensed that we knew not what a mapache was, so he disappeared into the house and reappeared a minute later with a little encyclopedia opened to a wild-life page. "Aqui tenemos el mapache" he told us, pointing to the picture of the raccoon. This kid is so cool. And no wonder: Reina is a superb person herself and although she is somewhat reserved I actually have enjoyed a very warm relationship with her thus far.
I met Reina last year when I was with the Casa and so I think part of our 'confianza' this week is due simply to the fact that we are glad to see each other again, and both of us appreciate the other being here. Anyway, Reina's house was great and her family's milpa was a joy to visit as well. We hiked up a pretty steep hill filled with wildflowers and papaya trees, and we saw Reina's father trudging through the corn, chipillin (some kind of small bush from which leaves are harvested for soup and such- an herb I suppose), quiskuil (delicious squash sort of vegetable), bananas, etc., spraying pesticides to keep the bugs from eating his family's sustenance. Wow, if you could have seen the view from the family's tool shed on the mountain. Once I have access to my pictures I'll have to post a few. Maybe I'll also put one up some Casa students and I playing monkey in the middle and baseball with Eduardo at the foot of the hillside farm.
One more short story: yesterday Alicia, Guillermo, Betsy and I (btw: Guillermo and Betsy are Alicia's co-coordinators) decided to head downtown to Metro Centro to look for a phone for me, some shirts for Guillermo, and three rabbits for the Yonkers-Talz girls (that is, the daughters of Kevin and Trena Yonkers-Talz, the co-directors of the Casa program). This was a great trip because I got to ride the bus again for the first time since returning to El Salvador, which is always an interesting experience. Alicia told me one time she saw a woman with a baby hand her child to a complete stranger next to her so she could adjust some of her belongings and retrieve an item from her bag. That should give you an idea of how tacitly aware Salvadorans are of the interdependence of us humans. I'm not saying all Salvadorans would entrust their baby to their neighbor on a packed bus, but the prevailing feeling is that Salvadorans just care about each other and where each other are headed in life (even if they are not blabbering to each other about it). Anyway, a very stimulating environment to be in.
On the way home the bus driver took the time to offer a front seat to our box of bunnies, which he stowed away next to the front seat passenger before assuring us they'd be safe on the journey. Salvadoran buses operate on a pretty simple premise: the more people they can pick up and the faster they can go, the more money they can make. So even though drivers seem to be pretty safe most of the time, they tend to create a pseudo roller coaster environment in their day-to-day trade. I guess that's how most Salvadorans seem to drive though: quickly and vigilantly.
Well I think that's all for now. As I feel this blog thing out and try to find a comfortable medium between superficial event relation and profoundly confusing and potentially melodramatic sounding reflection, I hope you will stay tuned. Also, if I haven't made something clear or I am just assuming too much previous knowledge about El Salvador, the Casa, me, etc. just let me know please. Gracias por haber leido mi "Blog". Adios!
Love,
Alex
Oyea, tomorrow I will be getting a ride out to Suchitoto with Sister Peggy so I am pumped. Christy, Ariel, Corla, and a mysterious couple who is apparently living and volunteering in Suchitoto for their first year of marriage await, along with many Salvadorans and the beautiful Salvadoran campo (countryside). Thank you to all who are making this possible, especially Mom, Dad, Chris, Ogg, Rose, and Will. I love you all very much. Be well.
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